Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Soggy Spring

Its soggy outside. Exactly how my sinus's feel again. I can't wait until spring is all the way here, and summer is just around the corner. I can't wait until the grass is green and I can stick my toes in it! All this snow and rain gets depressing after awhile. I used to be one that loved it, but as I get older it seems I like the white stuff less and less.

So I've rescheduled the baby's doctor appointment again, because we're all feeling crummy. She's the happiest one out of all of us! I just hope she can stay out of this round of sickies. My washing machine broke for good the other day, so cleaning up after her puke fests are going to be a lot harder. We should be able to rent a new one in a week or so. In the meantime, the clothes are going to pile up. Not to worry though, they are neatly tucked into a corner by the now- out of commission washer.

Been taking a little break from playing WoW lately. Catching up on life in general in other ways. *GASP* Life outside of an MMORPG??! Yes! It can be done! Even us hard core addicts do take a break from the screen sometimes. That said, I finally hit 31 the other day with my druid. I'm still enjoying the game, but as usual I've been waiting for Dh to catch up to me with yet another new toon he decided to roll as his main. All in all, the game still far surpasses EQ2 in my opinion.

So what did everyone do for Ostara? Sierra and I colored eggs together, and got a few ceramic bunnies to grace our altar. We talked about spring and fertility and all that good stuff. We don't do Easter here, but we do a Spring basket instead. Ours is delayed a bit because she's in Florida with her father at the moment. She gets to celebrate Ostara by a trip to Disney! Lucky duck! Last time I talked to her on the phone, she said it was very hot there and that she was having a lot of fun at MGM Studio's. I miss her a lot, but I have another whole 2 weeks before I'll see her again. Its the longest we've spent a part in her entire, its tough.

Well, I'm going to go enjoy my cup of coffee before it gets cold!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Challenge

I'm going to try to push myself a bit here in the next few weeks or months. I'm doing what I affectionately call, "an experiment." And really it is. I got to thinking the other day, while I was in the shower. Sierra came in while I was shaving and said, "Mama? Why do you shave your legs?" I stumbled, stuttered and finally settled on, "because its just something girls do." It satisfied her, though she gave me a funny look. Then I realized what I had just done. I just told her that girls had to shave, "just because." And the sad thing is, I don't have a reason! As girls, are we taught that its right to shave? Proper? Unclean if we don't? I know for myself, I wanted to be like all the other girls I saw. I didn't want my legs hairy anymore because the other girls laughed at me. And of course, the underarm hair was next to go. It was years before I touched sissors or a razor to my pubic area. But boyfriends all made comments if I was stubbly at all anywhere. "Don't you think its time to shave!" and "Look who's got 5 o'clock shadow!"

Fast forward to today. I'm a grown woman who shaves because society says I must. Because people look at women who are hairy in disgust and horror. I'm glad to say that I am married to a man who loves me even when I'm all covered in stubble. Being hairy hasn't ever bothered him. So why, I ask myself... do I still shave? Conditioning? Habit? There isn't any personal reason why. I mean, sure being smooth feels nice. But for me that feeling smooth thing doesn't last more than a few hours. My hair growth is fast! And time? Who has time to shave every single day?! I sure don't with two kids.

And then there's the message that I'm sending to my daughter. The big ole double standard message. Yes, hair is beautiful but only when its on your head. Yes, men don't shave but women should. Why don't I just force her to play with dolls, and never wear pants?! That's NOT the type of mother I am!

So the challenge that I've given myself, is to not shave. Not my legs or my underarms. Who knows how long I can do it, but I am giving myself permission to still trim the pubic area and trimming in general is okay. I will even still pluck the one single stray "wisdom" hair that grows on my chin. But taking time out of my busy day, just to remain hairless will not happen anymore. Spring is approaching. Its getting warmer out. Can I withstand peoples looks? Will anyone even care? Have I made more out of it than it really is? Perhaps no one even cares about leg hair anymore. Or maybe its the underarm hair that will get the most looks. Either way, I thought long and hard about who I am as a person and a mother... and I didn't like the answer I gave my daughter. The next time she looks at my hairy legs, I hope to be able to tell her how much nicer it is to NOT shave. I want to share stories with her about how women long ago didn't shave and it was considered beautiful and mature. I want to create a positive role model for her. Not one wrapped up in arbitrary rules that society has laid out for us.

I've always marched to the beat of a slightly different drummer, but I never realized just how crunchy I really am until now. And it feels good. :-) I've never found a message board online that really felt "like home" until the other day. This one is definitely it.