Monday, May 16, 2005

Good News and a Warning

And I haven't written in so long that I'm ashamed! I think I've been avoiding writing because I promised myself that I would only write the truth if I posted. And the truth, isn't always easy to come out and say.

First, I want to tell you about my news! On Beltane (May 1st) my dh and I recieved a wonderful gift!

Yup! We're expecting another baby due January 6th! We're so thrilled to be given another oppurtunity. Honestly though I've been reserving some of my happiness just in case I miscarry again. I haven't really been scared of bleeding, or loss of symptoms of anything like that because for me thats not how I miscarry. Usually there is no warning at all for me. Just no heartbeat when we go to the OB's. So, natrually I'm apprehensive about going to my first appointment. I will be so relieved when I hear the heartbeat for the first time.

Okay, on to the yucky news. Remember that job that I was hoping to get? The one that started out as volunteer work online helping pregnant women? I found out that for the past 6 months I've been taken for a ride. Yup. It was all fake. There were never any pregnant women that needed help or coaching. Never any midwife in AK. It was all just some sick person who was hoping for easy pictures of naked women. Someone who got off on "pregnant play."

I don't think I have to tell you how sick I was when I found out. I cried for days. Not only was it a humiliation, but it shattered a dream that I had for myself. I thought I was truelly helping these women and it felt good to be a part of that. And to find out that it was all someones sick game? It hurt a lot. And I was ashamed to even write in my own blog because of it. I didn't want to admit to anyone that everything I had been trying to do for the past 6 months amounted to nothing more than a porn movie for some pervert. But I realized that in order to stay truthful to myself, I needed to admit the truth here too. In my effort to help others and the feeling of being needed, I became too niave and I let myself get taken advantage of.

I found out that I'm not alone in this either. I was able to locate another women who had been "helping" out this supposed midwife as well. We traded IM chat transcripts and they read exactly the same. We found more women that were "helping" after that... and I shudder to think of how many more there are out there.

My last coorespondance with this midwife who goes by the name "Linda Tanner" and her friend "Carol Huggins" was to demand that I get documentation of who she is, and her midwife identification license number for Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. I asked that it be sent express so that I would get it within the week. She said it was no problem, and I never heard from her again. That was over a month ago. I fully expect that she will no longer attempt to talk to me, because she knows I've found out too much.

In hindsight I should have gotten all that information before I ever helped her out. When stuck in what appeared to be an emergency situation, I felt compelled to help. That was my first mistake. Though I can't change what happened, in an odd way I still feel good about what I thought I was doing. My heart was in the right place, no matter what they tried to twist around. And I am very proud of all the effort I put into it.

My main goal now is to make sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else, which is why I posted names and alias's. Some Yahoo ID's she used were adbbirth, carolhuggins454, midwife1776, nadjadillion, headfirst222 and I'm sure many others. The way it works is one ID she will pretend to be a pregnant woman usually teens or early 20's who is either pregnant and wanting to talk, or in labor currently and looking for support because her midwife isn't there yet. Then "Linda" or "Carol" will come on and help the baby be born. Later on, they will use the womans ID as their own claiming that they are borrowing it. This pattern repeats until a new ID name crops up. Generally they will deleate the old ID's quickly.

I know that when I was first suspicious I googled the web looking for the names or ID's or even this sort of thing happening. I wasn't able to find anything about it. Its my hope that if anyone is approached to help online, they will google the name first and come up with this blog entry. I'd like to be able to keep others from being taken in by this person. They lie well, and prey on your want to help out other women. If you use Yahoo IM and you have an interest list, they target women who are into certain things. Pregnancy and family, breastfeeding, birthing.. etc.. Thats how they know you'll be a willing and knowledgable target. So if you can, take those interests off your list or at the very least, be aware that this type of fraud does exist. They might not have gotten any credit card information, or social security numbers, but they took a part of myself that they didn't have permission to take. I don't wish that on anyone else.

So, there is my cleansing admission. I hope that anyone reading this can look beyond the, "Wow, what an idiot" and see that I was blinded because I wanted to help so badly. I have definatly learned my lesson, and it was a hard one to learn...

1 comment:

  1. That whole ordeal sounds unbelievably tough, but it's great that you've managed to get it all out of your system and everything =)

    Congrats on your pregnancy too =D