Thursday, December 16, 2004

Same story same dance..

My OB appointment was today. We were supposed to hear the babys heartbeat, but the doctor couldn't find it. He said not to worry and just come back in a week and try again. I told him that I wasn't satisfied with that, and I wanted an ultrasound. After waiting around at the hospital, I got an ultrasound that confirmed the existance of the yolk sac, but no baby was inside. Same story, same dance...

So now I'm just waiting for it to misscarry on its own. They estimate the baby died around 7 weeks. I bought a big bag of pads, and I guess I spend the holiday season waiting...

This really stinks, and I'm heartbroken over it. It doesn't get easier the second time, trust me.
I'm trying to pretend that I'm not upset, but I can't help it. The tears just come anyway.

Luckily I hadn't told many people yet, so there were not many to "un tell".. I guess I had a feeling it would turn out this way after all.

Saying goodbye to my July 4th baby will be hard. Dreams that you make of the future don't disapear easily.

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