Thursday, June 30, 2005

They always return to Everquest


runs as tomatoes and other various rotten vegetables fly at her through the air..

Wait! No! Just hear me out for a second! As you've probably already guessed by the title, I'm returning to Everquest. I gave World of Warcraft a fair shot, and though I did enjoy the game, something is lacking. I wish I could say exactly what it is, but I'm not sure. I do know that I don't know anyone who passes by me on the server. No one really makes friends for the long term. They group just long enough to get a quest completed and then their gone. Never to be seen again.

The graphics in World of Warcraft are wonderful. Different than most MMORPG's out there, but very good. I loved the colors, and in comparison Everquest 2 looked extreemly washed out and boring. Add to the fact that the gameplay in Everquest 2 was terribly lacking and that pretty much sums up why I was only there for a few months. World of Warcraft I played for a good 5 months.

My reasons for leaving World of Warcraft? The dynamics of the game just don't feel right to me. Its easy to solo. Too easy. That same thrill of "am I going to live or die?" just wasn't there. Once I killed one type of mob, I knew that I could kill that same mob a zillion times over. Once a tactic was down, it never faltered much. In EQ that simply isn't the case. Several different factors can change in a second. Not all mobs are equal, regardless of con color. You just never know what you might get. Sure its annoying. Do we yell and scream and throw an occasional keyboard? Hell yes! But that's half the fun of playing any MMORPG. If it doesn't make you angry sometimes, then it doesn't truelly make you happy either. You have to have that anger to keep you going. That frusteration level. And if there is anything that SOE is good at, it's keeping its customers frusterated! See? Perfect match! The game dynamics just FIT. As much as people bitch and complain about Everquest, I really have not found a game that is better. Tactics are IMPORTANT in this game. You can't run around and solo every mob and call yourself uber just because. You have to work at it. Sure, there's the powerlevelers and the losers in every game. I guess I just prefer knowing who they are. Its like still having love for your old neighborhood even though its run down and desolate. Its still comfortable. You feel like you belong.

Lately I haven't logged in to World of Warcraft at all. In fact, when I went to cancel my account (Yes! I did it!) it said I hadn't logged in since June 11th. That's almost 3 weeks! If I haven't logged in since then, I probably won't again. Just in case, our characters are saved on the server. If we ever decide to try it again. For now though, I've loaded EQ back up on the computer. If my computer would stop spontanously rebooting then perhaps I'd get done with the patcher sometime today.

So, you can find me on the Bertoxx server. Kerriana the dr00d with no pants still. (hopefully! If they haven't deleated my characters.. ooh I'll be steamed if they did) Tonight my dh is looking at all the new graphics in the newbie zones. He made a one week trial account and he's running around with all the old model graphics on because that account has no expansions on it. Its amazing what used to be considered great in gaming only 6 years ago. Laughable really! We get a good chuckle looking at the wood elves that people used to go gaga over and think were sexy. LOL

Well, theres my confession for now. We are, yet again returning to Everquest. No other game feels quite like home.


Sunday, June 26, 2005

Cherry Blossoms

Hot Hot Hot in the City

Yesterday was the hottest day of the summer so far. It was about 100 and so very muggy. I found it hard to breathe most of the day but tried to deal with it the best I could. Sierra had Spiral Scouts today and they were supposed to do a Litha celebration at Deering Oaks Park. They decided not to actually do one though as most of the kids were hot and cranky. So they played some games and then went wading in the water hole they have there.

I'd NEVER been to this park before and I was pleasantly surprised! So much in fact that Chris and I are now considering moving there. If we could get an apartment that was close to this park then we'd be happy. There was so much grass and woods, and that water thing was too cool. Made me feel like a real inner city person. LOL Though it would be the biggest city I've ever lived in and thats a bit scary for me. Before I never ever ever EVER considered it. After today though, I saw how diverse people were there and for some reason that is very appealing.

Maybe it has something to do with how I've been feeling about the people in my life lately. Evaluating friendships and wondering whether they are worth keeping or not. So much of my life revolves around drama other people cause and I'm really worn out from it. I'd rather just cut myself away from that sort of thing, and yet I know I won't find many friends that don't have at least a little drama that surrounds them. It's human nature I suppose.

Seeing African Americans, Asians, and Caucasians all in one place is something that doesn't happen where I live, and yet in this place it does. I even saw six women that don't shave their legs and let it grow naturally while I was there. SIX! Around here I was the freak girl for not shaving. And I'm ashamed to admit that while it was just an experiment for me to see how long I could do it, I did cave in and shave about two weeks ago. A friend (one whom I'm wondering if I should remain friends with) made several comments about how my legs were hairrier than a mans, etc.. and for some reason it really bothered me. I expected more support and understanding from someone who was supposed to be a friend. I felt shamed, and consequently I shaved. I'm still shaving. I'm happy that my test of faith lasted as long as it did. Nearly three months! I'm proud of that. I just wish I didn't have a weak moment at the end.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the diversity..
Not only were there women with hairy legs, and different ethnic groups there, but several babies that were being cloth diapered!! I've NEVER seen anyone cloth diaper around here. Course I don't go around checking out whats in childrens pants to see, but no one ever talks about it either. And here were SEVERAL babies clearly wearing cloth. I was amazed! I even think I might have stared at bit.... in hindsight probably looked like I was judging them, but I wasn't! I was really happy to see it! (Mental note: watch how I look "happy" next time. I'd hate to come off as looking like all those other people who condemn diversity)

We played for quite awhile in our "ghetto" water hole, which was a concrete sorta wading pool filled with flowing water. It even had those little water fountains spurting out in places that the kids thought were so cool. The kids had a great time.

Afterwards we packed up, came home, and then all went swimming at the river. It was HOT out today! We had a good time though. It was a good day. Sometimes I think we don't have enough "good days" that we remember. I want to remember this one. =)

Blogger Freaks Out

I had a really long post here, but I tried to use the new picture adding tool and my template freaked out. I spent the last 5 hours fixing it. Word of advice, forget the new tool and keep doing pictures the way you were. Less headache.

I'll try to add my post from today, tomorrow.

*Edit* So guess what? It was all Bloggers fault! Yup, no surprise there really. What irratates me is that they couldn't even put up something on the page about there being an issue. I finally found out by searching for the problem I was having and was able to put in a bit of extra code to work around the Blogger issue. They said it would be fixed "soon." So hopefully these posts are coming through now instead of coming in waaaaay down....
.... there. --------> where they DON'T belong.
Gah! Hours wasted fixing something that wasn't my fault to begin with.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

High School Ways

I've come to realize that a lot of the people that I spent time with and tried hard to be friends with are simply not worth it.

I'm on a few email lists for witches in the area, been on them for years. They've evolved and merged and seperated. All the normal things that complicated email lists do. I've made a few good friendships from them. The kind where I can call them up at 10pm and just shoot the shit. I'm very glad for those. Then there are the ones were I try really hard to be friends but for some reason we just clash, or they are simply oblivous to the fact that friendship takes work.

I'm tired of the childish cliques (is that really a word?) It seems this one person is always trying to be with the "In" crowd, and there is no in crowd here. We're all adults just trying to make new friends and have others to get together for rituals with, and grow with. She jumps from one person to another and says she loves unconditionally, but yet she never really gives her all. You can literally see through her and know that she's fake. Its a sinking feeling really. We've all tried talking to her but its useless. She really cannot see how she is to others. She makes plans with one of us, but if something better comes along she drops us cold and makes up some excuse. She starts wars between people on the list, and gossips far more than even I ever did in high school.

It is mentally exhausting and tiring. I wonder sometimes why I even try to get involved in the Pagan community. Then I remember the friends that I did make. They are true friends. Grown up's even! (insert eye roll here)

I figure if something doesn't change soon I'm just going to go back to being a hermit. High school was a bad enough experience for me. I thought I graduated already...

Monday, June 20, 2005

Full Calenders

It never fails. As soon as June rolls around, the hermit type person that I was all winter long seems to come out of hibernation, because the wall calender fills up extreemly fast. Friends that want us over for BBQ's, kids that want to go swimming, fireworks displays to enjoy, and beaches to walk on in the sun. So many things scream out to be enjoyed and seen! Is it any wonder that more people enjoy the summer months than the winter ones? I know it seems that I literally change into a different person when its warmer. Seasonal Affective disorder? Perhaps. I think a large percentage of people in the world suffer from it.

So I've been doing a lot lately. My daughter turned 7 years old last week. Its hard for me to even think about how long its been since she came home from the hospital wearing those itty bitty diapers. She's definatly growing up so fast. We had a nice party for her with a bunch of friends at the local swimming place on the river. Swimming has got to be her favorite thing to do. That and gymnastics. A good friend of mine made her two gorgeous cakes topped with animals everywhere. They were so yummy!

In just a few more weeks my youngest will be turning 2, and we'll have to do the whole cake/party all over again! Sometimes I wish their birthdays were closer so we could combine the two of them. A month and 1/2 is still too far apart to do it sensibly I guess..but oh how I wish! I just don't enjoy the party planning things. They seem to cause this mom a bit too much anxiety!

My first OB visit went wonderful, and I still have to scan the ultrasound pictures so I can put them up here. Right now they're tacked up on the fridge so I can look at them everyday. My little sprout in there just growing away. I felt so relieved to know that there was a heartbeat and all was well. Hopefully we can make it just a few more weeks til the second trimester and I will feel even more relieved. The morning sickness lasted for about 2 weeks and then has left me be. I do have to eat constantly though or else I get a bit queasy. I have a ton of food aversions that change daily. It makes it hard to grocery shop for more than just the moment! The OB told me I hadn't gained any weight yet at all. I'm 160 on the dot. Thats very odd for me, but hey! I'll take it! But things have been going so differently this time around that I made my husband seriously think about boys names, because I have a feeling this one is male.

I like Zachary now, but I don't think he likes it much. He aggreed, but is still not enthusiastic about it. Piper is still the girls name. Middles names we're suddenly iffy on. Its amazing how a little time can change your perspective about things! I thought we were set on names a year ago!

The only thing that is plauging me in this pregnancy so far, is my sciatic pain is back. And so early too! My lower back, and tail bone seems to literally be so loose that I already hobble when I walk. It hurts so much to sit and then stand up, and I've already almost fallen because of the pain in that area. I wasn't expecting it before the second trimester and I'm a bit frightened at how much worse it will get.

Well, the baby is annoyed that she's trying to nap in my arms while I'm making this horrible typing racket here, so I'll wrap it up for now.

Happy Midsummer everyone! I hope you have a blessed Litha. My family will be joining a few friends for a circle and BBQ (of course!) tomorrow night. I hope your family celebrates in some special way. )O(

Friday, June 03, 2005

The Sun is Out!

Finally! Some sun has come to town! After nearly 3 weeks of rain I was beginning to wonder if we secretly living in Seatle or something. It was horribly gloomy for days on end. And wouldn't you know it, now that the sun is out and shining and I can finally get on my shorts and tank tops, I'm sick! Another dratted sinus infection that- surprise surprise, you can't treat while pregnant. This makes 3 sinus infections in the past year alone. What's going on?! I NEVER had one in my life, and now suddenly they're back to back? Grrrrr. So now I get to sit and look at the sun, but I'm too misrable to enjoy it!

I'd like it marked on your calendars that I was awake and showered before 9am, and also got the house cleaned!

I guess even if I can't go outside and enjoy the sun, I can open the windows wide and pretend right?

All is well on the pregnancy front. My first ultrasound is scheduled for next Wednesday and I'm pretty nervous. Hopefully we'll see a heartbeat this time. Cross your fingers for us!