Saturday, July 23, 2005

Bathing Suit Shopping Sucks

I always thought those comic book strips and comedy shows saying that a woman buying a bathing suit has to be one of the worst shopping experiences ever, was exaggerating. And now I know it was the awful, pathetic truth. For the first time in my life I am unable to buy a bathing suit. I tried Old Navy first in their maternity section. I went for the XLG because I know I'm not a beanpole. They were too big. I walked out of the dressing room very happy. That is, until I noticed that they only had 2 bathing suits left in the LRG size. And both of them, upon trying them on.. were too tight. What do you do when you are too small for the biggest size, and too large for the next size down? Should I just give up and wear sweatpants to the beach? Is this some subtle hint that my body is not "bathing suit worthy?"

I decided to lower my standards. I checked Walmart. For one thing I was aggravated because they were "on sale" and yet still 13$ a piece. Yes, a piece. I couldn't even find one bathing suit that was selling both pieces together. I brought 6 into the fitting room. I stopped trying on when I got to number 3. My 7 year old is in there with me, attempting to stuff my breasts into the tops of these things mumbling under her breath, "Nope, I don't think these are going to fit you." I've never felt like my breasts were so huge until that moment. As we got back into the car, my husband said, "Did you find one?" and my daughter replied, "Nope! Mama's boobs are waaaaaaay too big for those bathing suits." sigh

As my final attempt, I went to Goodwill. They only had 3 bathing suits there. All size SMALL. I didn't even bother. I did glance at the price tag though. Close to 7$ for a used bathing suit that someone else's crotch has already been on. For only a few dollars more I could have gotten one at Walmart thats new! (though wouldn't cover my huge breasts I guess)

So where DO all the large breasted women go to buy bathing suits? Is there any hope whatsoever that I could find a bikini for these things? I'm not gigantic everywhere else. It seems that if I'm huge up top, then my arse must be just as huge.. and thats just not the case. I guess I am not proportioned well.

I'm SO ready for Fall now. Summer is overrated.

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