Sunday, September 04, 2011

My $200 curio table I bought for $14 and it's first purpose as a focus/meditation altar.

School starts day after tomorrow for Sierra and Ivy. This coming
Thursday is Pipers screening/testing and her open house. Then her
first day of school is on Friday! In 5 days! I'm getting nervous
myself! This is baby #3 that's headed off to school. And Ivy is going
into third grade. It's such a jump. Suddenly there are no cute
pictures on the wall, no colorful chairs, ... I felt a lump in my
throat immediately and realized it was that sudden jump that made 3rd
the worst for me as a child. I'm trying so hard not to add my emotions
into her anxiety. Only positive thoughts allowed! I think the table
will help me as much as it helps them. My babies are growing up. Like
most things I want so much to be as prepared as possible, but I've
learned that parenting doesn't work like that. I could pack the house
with me, bring everything I own, and I can't prepare myself
emotionally and mentally as much as I'd like to. I feel so raw all the
time, changes are happening so fast. Some good some bad. To my brain,
change is bad period. So it's been a rough end to our summer. A rough
start to our school year, as all our ism's and dx's keep us from
feeling calm, rational, and peaceful. Anxiety rips through this house
like wildfire. We'll make it. We have to. Nothing beats anxiety and
fear faster than simply not having a choice. Thank goodness we have
each other, family and good friends. I'm not sure if I would have made
it this far! Thank you. Wish us luck!

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