My Yule altar 

Witches Weekly Questions for Jan 1st

January 1st, 2005 Witches Weekly Questions:

Do you have any Winter Solstice traditions?

For so many years it was just myself practicing, and I did whatever felt right to me at the time. I've always done a private ritual at night that includes a whole lot of candles flickering in my home. Now that I have two children and two cats (one who is fascinated with batting flames) I've had to cut it down to just one candle. I'm still working on incorporating my rituals into ones my kids can participate in as well. I'm sure it will be years before I settle on one particular way, if ever. None of us are morning people, so we don't rise with the dawn to welcome the day. Instead we take some time enjoying the sun when we do get up and thinking of all the ways the sun helps us and the earth.

How do you feel about the more secular form of the holiday, with presents and Santa Claus?

This is a tricky question for me. If things were the way that I really wanted them, my children wouldn't celebrate with "Santa" the way many others do.

I have taught my oldest about the stories behind "Santa." I think the original thoughts behind it are wonderful. Teaching her about caring, loving, and giving is something I try to do all the time. I don't agree with how commercialism the whole season has become though. It actually makes me sick to my stomach to hear all the "Santa" talk and presents this and presents that. I think it definitely takes away from the spirit of the season if you aren't careful.

All that being said, my oldest daughter spends half of her time with her biological father. They do celebrate their christmas with the "Santa" figure. My oldest believes in "Santa" and I can't just dispel her beliefs in one single sentence. "No such thing as Santa hun, sorry. Pass me the salt please." I need to wait until she is ready to hear the truth, and then I will be more than happy to tell her. Right now she still expects "Santa" to leave presents at this house too, so reluctantly I'll admit, he does. But he doesn't leave more than a present or two. The rest of them come from her step-father, me, and her sister. I don't like some guy in a red and white suit taking credit for all that I've done. ;-)

So, my youngest will have some "Santa" influence in her life. Even though I'd rather not have it that way it's difficult to say, "Santa only comes for you Sierra, not for your sister." She just wouldn't understand.

I guess you could say that we got sucked into participating in the whole thing. I would rather just have him be a guy that was really nice and good a long time ago. The spirit of him lives on.

The whole reindeer, sleigh, and coming down chimneys? Nah. I don't encourage those myths any. I find them rather silly. I also don't take my children to get pictures with "Santa."

People have argued with me that children need to have some "magic" in their lives. I think my kids have plenty of that. ;-)

What is one thing that is etched into your memory about this recent holiday season?

Only a week or so before Yule I experienced my second miscarriage. I was 12 weeks along and we were going to include the good news in our Yule cards. Finally we could share it. Finding out that our baby had died already, waiting it out, and in the end having a D&C done only a week before the holidays... it was very hard. I had to force myself to be happy for the kids and to find the good in the season. Fake it til you make it! Eventually the cloud did lift, and I was able to enjoy myself. Some days are still hard, but it does get easier every day. When I think back to December 2004 I will always remember the little dream that I was forced to give up.

There are happy things though. The look on my youngest daughters face when she opened a few gifts that were about "Teletubbies". (her absolute favorite) She kept smiling and babbling, "Ubbies ubbies ubbies". My oldest had to get used to not "helping" her sister unwrap presents. And I think she was just as excited to watch her sister unwrap them as she was to unwrap her own. That sisterly love bond melts my heart every time.