Its February

Where have the days gone? I've been really busy lately. One of those times where one minute I feel like I've got nothing to do, and the next it feels like I don't have a moment to even sit down.

I just recently helped at birth number 8 through webcam. It just gets better and better every time. I'm now helping two different midwives, and who knows how many more in the future. My calander is certainly filling up with due dates. There are four just for this month alone!

Sierra started Spiral Scouts today, and she loved it! I knew that she would, but I'm always nervous around new people. We fit in great though. Even the baby met other babies to play with. We really all had a great time today. I'm looking forward to the next one. It will be her initiation day. Unfortunatly my exhole decided to schedule something with Sierra on my weekend..so Sierra will miss the next one. She won't go again until March.

He assumed I would be alright with taking my weekend time. Well duh! Of course I'm not. He just doesn't care half the time. I told him not to do it again. After all, I am paying for something this time. (like the excuse he gives me) I don't want her to miss out on this oppurtunity. No more than he wants her to miss out on gymnastics. What I really wish is that he would stop scheduling things on the weekends when I have her. Is that too much to ask??? Seriously. I don't schedule things with her during the week when he has her. I just find it incredibly rude. This is my time with my daughter. He gets his time. I could see if it was every once in awhile, or something really special.. but he does it all the time. And yet, I don't ever try to do that to him.
Ah well.. you can't change a dick no matter how hard you try I suppose.

Can you tell I still don't like him anymore than usual?
Perhaps if he hadn't grumped at me on the phone the other day, and schedule something during my day without even so much as fucking asking me.... *sigh*

Well, its getting late and Sierra wants a bedtime story. She's at that age now where she can read me her story instead of the other way around. It means she's growing up..

I'm going to make myself some steaming hot tea and relax for abit. Its been a pretty busy day for us.

Disappointment

Since I've been interested in being a midwife or a doula for as long as I can remember, I decided to check with a few organizations to see about certification. Of course, since I'm doing doula work right now I thought I'd look into that one first. Well, it turns out you need three births. I've got that. It doesn't say anywhere that it can't be done through webcam. No, I'm not born yesterday..of course I realize that they have probably never heard of this through webcam. So I decided to write to them, let them know my situation and see if there was any way I could use these births towards my certification.

What I got back was almost what I expected. They both said "No, you can't use webcam births." Alright, I can handle that. Everyone has rules they have to follow. I can respect that. Though my suggestion is that people ought to start including a clause about whether webcam is acceptable or not. This will not be the last time someone asks, trust me.

What I was most concerned about however, was that it wasn't simply a "no" email I got back. Here's the one I got back from DONA. (Doulas of North America)

"Although unique and helpful, your lack of physical presence will not allow us to count these births for certification. There has been no research that this type of support is beneficial and in fact, much research to support that the doulas physical presence is what makes the difference."

And the other from CAPPA. (Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association)

"I'm sorry, but unless you are at a real live birth, these will not be able to count towards certification. Being there in person adds a whole dimension, hands on touching, physical presence, which is one of the three areas of being a Labor Doula. This is what all of the doula studies were based on, a large part of what we do, and part of what makes us an evidence-based program."

Okay. I have a big problem with this. Obviously the research is not correct. Sure, there are definite advantages to being there physically, but they cannot say that what I'm doing isn't beneficial. I have two midwives, six mothers, and six brand new babies that will attest to that. Some of those women had other support systems in place as well. In fact, the last one had a Labor Doula physically there with her. She had relatives there with her. She had the midwife there with her. And they still requested my help. To me, that says a lot. It tells me that while being there physically is an added benefit and of course should be strived for whenever possible, it isn't necessarily what makes a good doula. For me, its possible to be a good doula and not be there physically.

I did not plan to become an "internet Doula", its one of those things that just happened. A blessedly wonderful opportunity to help other women fell into my lap, and I'm damn well going to work with it as much as I possibly can. Certification means nothing to me. I was looking into it to see if I could better myself, but I see now that even the organizations don't really care about that. It was disappointing really.

I think perhaps I had judged them, albeit positively; but still judged. I lumped those agencies in a category of people that really cared about women. To me, midwives and doulas have always seemed to be a group of people who want to help other women. Down to earth people. And I guess, like all people... you can't really put them in a category fairly. They are still just people after all. And obviously, what's beneficial to laboring women isn't the first thing on their minds. At least not in the administration department...LOL