I've come to realize that a lot of the people that I spent time with and tried hard to be friends with are simply not worth it.
I'm on a few email lists for witches in the area, been on them for years. They've evolved and merged and seperated. All the normal things that complicated email lists do. I've made a few good friendships from them. The kind where I can call them up at 10pm and just shoot the shit. I'm very glad for those. Then there are the ones were I try really hard to be friends but for some reason we just clash, or they are simply oblivous to the fact that friendship takes work.
I'm tired of the childish cliques (is that really a word?) It seems this one person is always trying to be with the "In" crowd, and there is no in crowd here. We're all adults just trying to make new friends and have others to get together for rituals with, and grow with. She jumps from one person to another and says she loves unconditionally, but yet she never really gives her all. You can literally see through her and know that she's fake. Its a sinking feeling really. We've all tried talking to her but its useless. She really cannot see how she is to others. She makes plans with one of us, but if something better comes along she drops us cold and makes up some excuse. She starts wars between people on the list, and gossips far more than even I ever did in high school.
It is mentally exhausting and tiring. I wonder sometimes why I even try to get involved in the Pagan community. Then I remember the friends that I did make. They are true friends. Grown up's even! (insert eye roll here)
I figure if something doesn't change soon I'm just going to go back to being a hermit. High school was a bad enough experience for me. I thought I graduated already...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
Full Calenders
It never fails. As soon as June rolls around, the hermit type person that I was all winter long seems to come out of hibernation, because the wall calender fills up extreemly fast. Friends that want us over for BBQ's, kids that want to go swimming, fireworks displays to enjoy, and beaches to walk on in the sun. So many things scream out to be enjoyed and seen! Is it any wonder that more people enjoy the summer months than the winter ones? I know it seems that I literally change into a different person when its warmer. Seasonal Affective disorder? Perhaps. I think a large percentage of people in the world suffer from it.
So I've been doing a lot lately. My daughter turned 7 years old last week. Its hard for me to even think about how long its been since she came home from the hospital wearing those itty bitty diapers. She's definatly growing up so fast. We had a nice party for her with a bunch of friends at the local swimming place on the river. Swimming has got to be her favorite thing to do. That and gymnastics. A good friend of mine made her two gorgeous cakes topped with animals everywhere. They were so yummy!
In just a few more weeks my youngest will be turning 2, and we'll have to do the whole cake/party all over again! Sometimes I wish their birthdays were closer so we could combine the two of them. A month and 1/2 is still too far apart to do it sensibly I guess..but oh how I wish! I just don't enjoy the party planning things. They seem to cause this mom a bit too much anxiety!
My first OB visit went wonderful, and I still have to scan the ultrasound pictures so I can put them up here. Right now they're tacked up on the fridge so I can look at them everyday. My little sprout in there just growing away. I felt so relieved to know that there was a heartbeat and all was well. Hopefully we can make it just a few more weeks til the second trimester and I will feel even more relieved. The morning sickness lasted for about 2 weeks and then has left me be. I do have to eat constantly though or else I get a bit queasy. I have a ton of food aversions that change daily. It makes it hard to grocery shop for more than just the moment! The OB told me I hadn't gained any weight yet at all. I'm 160 on the dot. Thats very odd for me, but hey! I'll take it! But things have been going so differently this time around that I made my husband seriously think about boys names, because I have a feeling this one is male.
I like Zachary now, but I don't think he likes it much. He aggreed, but is still not enthusiastic about it. Piper is still the girls name. Middles names we're suddenly iffy on. Its amazing how a little time can change your perspective about things! I thought we were set on names a year ago!
The only thing that is plauging me in this pregnancy so far, is my sciatic pain is back. And so early too! My lower back, and tail bone seems to literally be so loose that I already hobble when I walk. It hurts so much to sit and then stand up, and I've already almost fallen because of the pain in that area. I wasn't expecting it before the second trimester and I'm a bit frightened at how much worse it will get.
Well, the baby is annoyed that she's trying to nap in my arms while I'm making this horrible typing racket here, so I'll wrap it up for now.
Happy Midsummer everyone! I hope you have a blessed Litha. My family will be joining a few friends for a circle and BBQ (of course!) tomorrow night. I hope your family celebrates in some special way. )O(
So I've been doing a lot lately. My daughter turned 7 years old last week. Its hard for me to even think about how long its been since she came home from the hospital wearing those itty bitty diapers. She's definatly growing up so fast. We had a nice party for her with a bunch of friends at the local swimming place on the river. Swimming has got to be her favorite thing to do. That and gymnastics. A good friend of mine made her two gorgeous cakes topped with animals everywhere. They were so yummy!
In just a few more weeks my youngest will be turning 2, and we'll have to do the whole cake/party all over again! Sometimes I wish their birthdays were closer so we could combine the two of them. A month and 1/2 is still too far apart to do it sensibly I guess..but oh how I wish! I just don't enjoy the party planning things. They seem to cause this mom a bit too much anxiety!
My first OB visit went wonderful, and I still have to scan the ultrasound pictures so I can put them up here. Right now they're tacked up on the fridge so I can look at them everyday. My little sprout in there just growing away. I felt so relieved to know that there was a heartbeat and all was well. Hopefully we can make it just a few more weeks til the second trimester and I will feel even more relieved. The morning sickness lasted for about 2 weeks and then has left me be. I do have to eat constantly though or else I get a bit queasy. I have a ton of food aversions that change daily. It makes it hard to grocery shop for more than just the moment! The OB told me I hadn't gained any weight yet at all. I'm 160 on the dot. Thats very odd for me, but hey! I'll take it! But things have been going so differently this time around that I made my husband seriously think about boys names, because I have a feeling this one is male.
I like Zachary now, but I don't think he likes it much. He aggreed, but is still not enthusiastic about it. Piper is still the girls name. Middles names we're suddenly iffy on. Its amazing how a little time can change your perspective about things! I thought we were set on names a year ago!
The only thing that is plauging me in this pregnancy so far, is my sciatic pain is back. And so early too! My lower back, and tail bone seems to literally be so loose that I already hobble when I walk. It hurts so much to sit and then stand up, and I've already almost fallen because of the pain in that area. I wasn't expecting it before the second trimester and I'm a bit frightened at how much worse it will get.
Well, the baby is annoyed that she's trying to nap in my arms while I'm making this horrible typing racket here, so I'll wrap it up for now.
Happy Midsummer everyone! I hope you have a blessed Litha. My family will be joining a few friends for a circle and BBQ (of course!) tomorrow night. I hope your family celebrates in some special way. )O(
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