Ivy and Persephone

My Baby Shower. Sort Of.

I considered writing this post a few times, and even did it once having omitted names. However I feel this is my blog and my blog has my feelings. I don't link to this thing anywhere, so no one should have it or know it. If they snoop for it, oh well. Their fault.

I didn't want a baby shower, but I got one anyway. Shannon insisted I have one. I told her no one would come. She insisted they would. No one that I invited came. Only family showed up. (not my family, Chris's family) I do believe I told her that would happen.

There are a lot of things that went wrong, starting with who didn't show up.. but I held it all in. Smiled through my teeth and willed the next few hours to pass quickly. Luckily they did. The only redeeming value was that Dave got us a pack of diapers, and the cake looked pretty. It didn't taste too great, but hey.. I took pictures of it so we can remember how PRETTY it was, not how it tasted. LOL

I was given a lot of used stuff by Shannon, which would have been fine if it had been in good condition. But it smelled like cigarette smoke and mildew. Two things I just can't have my newborn stuff smelling like. I tried to wash and fabreeze things but it didn't do any good. When Tonya let me know that Shannons dog had peed all over everything, and she kept it a secret and just wrapped it all up anyway.... well, eventually I just threw it all away because it was depressing me to look at it in my living room. To give someone used things is one thing. To give them used things that your dog peed on is another. It was like a slap in the face, but hey.. who am I to ask for clean usable things? Thats above me. I'm the poor little orphan girl that no one wants, I can make due right?

So I still need to get a bassinet, but it will have to wait until after the baby is born because we don't have the money to buy it now.

After the so called baby shower, I lapsed into a bit of a funk. Of course, having it rubbed in my face basically that I don't have any family or friends by insisting I invite people I KNOW will never come to my shower... its not surprising that I got depressed. I was sad. I still am.

Though there are only 3 more days and a bowl of cheerios until we meet this little one, so its understandable why my emotions might be a bit on the surface.

More later..