Homeschool no more

I've started to write a blog post for several months but I just couldn't articulate what I wanted to say. Its hard to admit that something you've tried isn't working as well as you hoped it would. It feels like failure. I know in my heart I made the right choices at the right time, things just change.



Ivy has matured so much in the time we spent at home. I pulled her from school last February and Piper stayed home from May onward. We had 8 months of together time. 8 months of bonding. 8 months of growing to do. In that time, Ivy has overcome a lot of her insecurities. She's growing up before my eyes. I used to have to intervene whenever there was a social issue but now she's solving many of the problems on her own. She's finally getting there!


Piper never really wanted to leave school but agreed to try it out at home. And for her it was difficult not being around her friends as much. She'll have the distinction of being the only child that doesn't have a Kindergarten diploma in the family. Thats right. I pulled her before the year was out so she never officially graduated. I do feel bad that she missed that experience but she doesn't seem to mind.

I don't remember exactly how the conversation came up, but I asked them how they felt about homeschooling and Ivy told me that she loved being home with me but that she also felt maybe she was ready to "try school again."

Piper of course was on board with that idea, and within days I was filling out paperwork for them to start back at our local public school district. I now have a child in 9th grade, 4th grade and 1st grade. And Odin isn't far behind, I'm waiting for paperwork from Headstart to come in the mail so that he can have something just for him. Now that its colder outside the kids don't want to be outside playing as much. I knew that would happen.
 

Being a parent is harder than I ever thought it would be. Its a lot like being a tree I think. Knowing how to bend and sway with the wind. Not falling down but being strong and able to change directions if need be.

At first I felt like a homeschool drop out. I still really feel 100% that kids don't need school especially when they're young. What I've learned is that doesn't necessarily mean some kids don't *want* it.  The biggest thing with Ivy that I've had to learn over this past summer, is to calm my OWN reactions down. When she comes flying in the house crying her eyes out and sobbing with some story of injustice done to her.. my first instinct is to freak out, be angry and protective. I've done this on a number of occasions and it did nothing to help the problem. Instead it caused fights in the neighborhood, other parents and I arguing back and forth. I learned that for Ivy, she escalates and it tailspins out of control. Its my responsibility to remain calm and help her process what happened and help her see other perspectives in the situation. Things aren't always as they seem for her. Its taken a lot for me to calm my own self down and not be so reactive, but so far its working a lot better than anything else I've done. She's learning to solve her own social issues and there been far less tears and crying fits.

We have an IEP in a few weeks, we'll see what they say at that. I'm not looking forward to the rat race again. I'm really not, but I'll do what I have to do to keep my kids healthy and happy.

On another note, Persephone turned three years old the other day. I can't believe my "baby" isn't a baby anymore. 

Its Fall and update time

It seems odd that its aumtum already. Time has been flying by me lately. No doubt its because of all the changes that we've been through as a family the past year. De-schooling is a process that can surprisingly take awhile. Just sitting down and relaxing, not worrying about being somewhere or doing something according to someone elses schedule. Its liberating. Really!

Odin has been growing and changing so much over the past summer. I have a hard time remembering all the cute things he says because he says so much these days. Even though he was late talking, he sure caught up and surpassed his peers. His articulation is still poor, but he's improving I think. (I was told he wouldn't improve at all without some serious speech therapy, but the waiting lists are so long it'll be years before he gets in anywhere.)

After a few short months of peddling his tricycle, he spent a few weeks with training wheels and only two sessions of trying to ride without them.. and he got it. The rest is history. (or so they tell me.) Its amazing the emotions you can feel as you stand there watching your baby ride away from you that first time.. knowing that you can't possibly keep up to save them if they should happen to fall... because they've got it.. they're riding. A piece of my heart rode away that day, and I feel such pride when I watch him. So meticulous and careful. He looks both ways, he stops on the side of the road when a car happens to drive down the circle. He even falls with grace, rarely crying.. but just getting up and brushing himself off and hopping on to try again. I am so proud of all his accomplishments.

Air-writing stuck around for over a year. He wrote all the time. Spelling in the air near constant. He seems to have found some freedom from that now. The spelling has all but stopped, and his interest has been on his new skill of bike riding. Its hard to see his obsessions change because I get comfortable with his rituals and routines probably almost as much as he does. Its unsettling when suddenly he doesn't pick up a pen and paper for weeks at a time. Yet I know its a good thing for him. It means he is learning and exploring at his own pace and that makes me happy. To solidify our goals as a family.. I officially gave up his spot in the preschool program. He has no idea he was signed up to go so he wasn't upset at this decision at all. I know school isn't the place for him, and I'm not sad that he isn't experiencing it. He has all the time in the world to attend a school if and when he chooses, but only one childhood to learn at his own pace.

Ivy is de-schooling well. She is finding her own rhythm to things and it makes me happy to see her coming out of her shell more and more every day. I have to remember that 9 was a hard age for me.. it helps me have patience with her on those days that get to be just a little bit too long.

Piper mastered learning to ride a big girl bike the same summer as her brother. As you can imagine this means they are both further away from me  much of the time. Its hard parenting kids that are on the other side of the park. I've done a lot of walking around this summer, and a lot of calling for kids.

Persephone just started wanting to play with all the other kids outside, and its been hard giving her that freedom. She's still only 2, for another few weeks anyway....

Now that we've moved things are starting to feel a little bit more like home. I don't do change well at all. I think this past month 1/2 have been the hardest on me and the kiddos because of this. I don't go with the flow without a big fight about why the flow changed in the first place. I'm working on that. :)

Oh! Bedtimes in our house have finally moved to nighttime. The younger kids are in bed around 8 or so, and Ivy goes to bed between 9 and 10. She's allowed to stay up in her room after that time as long as she's quiet. Mornings consequently have been starting around 9 and 10 for Chris, and me? I've been sleeping in! I don't know why but most days I'm not up before 11am. And I'm going to bed at a decent hour too. SOMETHING is up with my body. I'm not sure if its from stopping the meds or what but things are out of whack in pretty much every area. If the hpt hadn't come back negative all 7 times I took it I would swear I was pregnant. Thats how messed up things are. And by messed up I also mean absent. For the past 3 months. ...  more on that later I guess.

Ivy wants some mama time so I'm gonna go snuggle with her for a bit.