Deja Vu

I've been feeling a bit depressed lately. Usually when I feel that way I'm not sure why, but this time I do. I'm feeling a major lack of connection from my friends. I'm quite sure that I haven't done anything to make a gap, but its there anyway. Oddly enough, when I was pregnant with Ivy the same thing happened. The further along I got, the more my friends seemed to find other things to do. I know its only natural to look inward more when you come closer to giving birth, but why should that mean that your friends turn away? Or maybe it doesn't happen to others, but only me?

I'm not really sure what to think anymore. Yes, I know its possible I'm just hormonal and sensitive, but.. I've been left out of the loop again. Email lists talk about things and I have no idea what they're referencing, almost feeling like the unpopular girl left out in high school again. Dinner parties and get togethers get talked about among everyone, yet I wasn't invited again. And really, its not that I haven't had an invitation to visit anyone in awhile...but more that no one is talking to me. No phone calls or IM's for quite awhile. And all this, just when I thought I had finally found a few solid friends. Its been weeks since anyone has really contacted me. I try, but it seems they are either always busy.. or just don't have time for me. Either way, it hurts and I've been increasingly getting more depressed about it as time goes on. I shouldn't let it bother me I guess. Its happened before. Friends come and go, and sooner or later I always end up feeling replaced by someone else. I just wish I knew why.

Instinct tells me that its something I'm doing wrong, yet I can't seem to think of anything. I try to be there as a friend. I try my hardest to be available and be kind. I guess I've just never had much luck being friends with other women, because no matter how promising friendships seem... they always peter out and I'm left with nothing again.

Pagan Pride Day

My girls dancing to the music from the drumming circle at Pagan Pride Day. All the kids got handmade magic wands to take home after the Harry Potter dress up contest. My girls didn't participate in the contest, but they were right there to snatch up the extra wands afterwards!

This years Pagan Pride Day went much better than last years, but hopefully I'd like to see them use more outdoor space. See all that grass behind the girls? It could have been used for venders, or rituals, or anything! Yet it was mostly just used for people to sit their butts on. (not that I'm complaining, I love to sit on grass!) The venders and almost all of the people hosting events were inside the building and it was pretty cramped. I opted not to go to a few of them because I wouldn't have been able to fit the stroller in there!

All in all, we had a good time. Even if my hormonal pregnant self had a few minor breakdowns during the day. The girls obviously had a great time once the drumming started up! We were all pretty tired, so we decided to leave a bit early. We missed the final ritual, but I heard it went off well.