The girl loved herself, so that she could love others

M- I- C- K- E- Y M- O- U- S- E! er.. M-I-N-N-I-E!

Persephone is 200 days old!

The one thing they all enjoy

Piggy Braids

This was Ivy's hairstyle for school today. Braids are done nearly every day because its the one hairstyle that doesn't come out no matter what she does. All my girls are so active that I have to give them styles that have holding power. And usually hair spray as well. Today we did a variation on the traditional double french braid, and instead of braiding down we put them in pigtails and then braided the rest as well. I think it came out super cute!

The bottom left side is a tad bit bumpy, but we were running out of time so I left it that way. If she would keep other pretties in like flowers, or bows, I would put those in her hair as well but usually they end up getting crushed in her backpack. Overall this hairstyle was super cute and super easy. It only took about 8 minutes to complete.

Smile and say "Cheese!" Ivy. :)

The Making of a Tutu

So I finally decided to put the red and white tulle I bought at Walmart to good use. Its not an exceptional deal buying from there, but I wanted to be sure I could actually make one first before I committed to buying rolls and rolls of the stuff. As it turns out, I not only can make one.. but I'm pretty darn good at it! Piper is excitedly waiting for hers to be finished. I wanted it to be very fluffy and pretty so I need to go pick up a few more rolls. Most tutorials use a lot less tulle than what I was expecting. Already its 50 yards so far and I'd say we have about another 10 yards left to use to fill in some gaps. I'll post completed pictures when I'm finished. It still needs a satin bow, and some final touches.

Of course I'll make a boutique bow to match it. Broadening my horizons a bit for my new etsy shop I opened. Stay tuned for info on that too. I'm not ready for the big reveal yet. haha

After this tutu, I will tackle the infamous "Magic Tutu" (notice the lack of trademark. lol) I've already figured it out, I just ran outta tulle. Bummer.

Peachy peach is a star

an extreemly silly star! (woah.. whats up with the underlined font and why is it here in my blog?) ... yikes Blogger. What did you do?!

What 5am looks like

This is 5am outside my back sliding glass door. Willow trees always look their prettiest when they aren't on your property, trust me. This thing sheds like a beast! No amount of rakes or brooms can keep our back yard clean and leaf free. But the birds, they love this tree. And I have to admit. It is pretty.

So we were supposed to be going to Beltane tomorrow to celebrate with our like minded Pagan friends. However I just don't think any of us feel up to the few hour drive to the beach. Then I'd have to chase the kids while we're there. Ugh. The way Ivy has been acting lately I don't think I want to chance it. I'm hoping a firm diagnosis can happen soon for her. We're really struggling at home with her behavior, and I know the school is too. Except for when her friend Z isn't there. Z has been out sick this past week, and lo and behold.. Ivy has had a solid 5 days of nearly 20 stars every day. Now I know I talked about this before, but I just can't get over what a drastic change that is.
So I asked her, "Ivy, when Z isn't at school who did you play with instead?" And then the most heartbreaking answer ever, "No one."
I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. "No one? What about recess? What did you do?"
"I played by myself." she answered.
"Every day? Why?"
"Without Z I don't know what to do, so I be by myself."

I'm really torn between being excited about her behavior at school, to being sad that the reason her behavior is so good is obviously because she's withdrawn and displaced feeling because Z isn't there. I remember that feeling...  it was the reason I never went without a boyfriend, EVER. One replaced another. No, I wasn't a whore. I simply couldn't function alone. I needed someone to help me put on a brave face and go out into the world to do what I had to do. At the time that was only math class, lunch and passing time.. but it was still nearly unbearable when I was alone. I remember what happened when my boyfriend graduated a year before I did. I had no friends. No direction. I couldn't even get to my classes because I didn't remember where they were. I had nothing to do but stare at the floor. I felt so out of place.

And here Chris and I were celebrating Ivy's accomplishment of nearly a week of awesome behavior. But does the end really justify the means? And her bus behavior I  might add, totally stinks. Kicked off the bus twice in one week doesn't seem that awesome.

Parenting a child with special needs isn't easy, especially when you have issues yourself! To any parent out there with any kind of disability at all, be it physical, or mental. Visible or hidden. You have my support. Its not an easy road.

Alice in Chains video

This is the video I took at the Cumberland County Civic Center in Portland Maine on April 15, 2010. The first stop in the new leg of their tour, Black Gives Way to Blue. It was an awesome show, and my husbands first concert. :) We totally enjoyed it. And had the bruises the next morning to prove it! The moshing was insane at the rail! You couldn't get any closer than where we were. It truly was an awesome experience. :)

I'll upload more video and pictures later.

Ivy got suspended from the bus. Again.

Yep. The bus company just called me. I guess this morning she got written up again. This time another girl told her to scratch this girl, so Ivy did. The girl was crying and had a red mark down her arm. The bus driver witnessed Ivy scratching her. So now she's suspended from the bus for the next two school days. :(

If this is any indication of how next year is going to go, I don't want any part of it! It makes me even more happy that they went ahead and kept her IEP in place.

The Issue with blogging

I've wanted to blog more than I have been. I know it probably looks like I'm a lazy camera phone blogger at this point, but in my defense.. I know the reason why I'm so quiet. Because I have to be quiet! Let me explain. My best writing is done at night after my little angels are tucked in for the night in their double beds with fluffy blankets. Only after my house is semi quiet can I really think about the things I like to blog about. You know, those deeper things beyond, "Where are Ivy's clean leggings?!" and "Do we have enough money to pay the phone bill this month?"  Now I know you're thinking, super! Then blog when the kids go to bed! But its not that simple.. you see the baby usually sleeps downstairs in the pack and play. And to make things worse, she's right next to my computer desk. Under normal circumstances this is the best location for her. Easily accessible so I can protect her from Odin should he try to throw a Duplo or a Matchbox car at her head. (he does have this urge frequently) Not so convenient when I want to type like a mad man with flames flying out of my fingertips. I wait for the right moment to blog when it won't wake her up, and I can still concentrate. Those moments are obviously few and far between.

So here I am! Its 7:56 AM and Sierra and Ivy are already at school. Their first day back from school vacation. The rest of us couldn't be more excited for them! Seriously. Vacations are the worst in my house. Ivy needs the structure of getting up, getting ready, going on the bus, going to her classes, coming home, having dance class and then going to bed. I need that routine too.

Update: Its now the next day. ya ya. I should have just ended and pushed Publish Post. Except I forgot! Gah! Anyway, Ivy had a great day at school. She got all 20 of her stars. Her goal is 16 stars in a day. Its part of her new behavioral plan. They've broken down her day into 20 chunks and they give her 1 star if she follows Kelso's Choices and another star if she is compliant. Yesterday was the first day she's ever gotten 20 stars! I was so happy! And then today, the bus company called me to inform me that they wrote her up yesterday afternoon for standing up on the bus. They tell me she always stands up while the bus is moving. I tell them, put her in a buckle seat please. They did last year and there were no issues. This year she's been written up twice and this time she's suspended from the bus for a day. 6 years old and suspended for hyperactivity she can't control. That really stinks. So I'm going to have to do something. I mean it can't continue this way. There are only 2 more chances and she's off for the whole year. It isn't a big deal as its almost May. But what about next year? This has to be addressable in her IEP or something. (which they DID keep btw. They even added on a behavioral plan and social stories, along with everything she currently had. Yay!!!)

Alright, posting this before life takes over again.
     

PJ lookin cute

My kiddos lookin cute

Waiting for Alice in Chains

Alice in Chains tickets are here!

Mama and the kids

Easter Bunny Love

Easter 2010 was a success! Well, as long as we're measuring success by how sunny the day was. (finally) How trampled my backyard was by little feet looking for eggs, and how much trash was strewed around my house. It didn't matter how many times I bent over to pick up the pieces of wrappers and discarded candy, in a few minutes it was back on the floor again. Candy in different colored boxes to designate which child it belonged to. When you have more than a few children it becomes a necessary part of life, this naming and color coding. And every year there is more candy than we need. I'm not sure how or why I tend to over purchase the candy, perhaps because its the basis of Easter and there isn't much else to get. One toy each child, that added up to over thirty dollars. Piper got Littlest Pet Shops, Ivy got a Wizards of Waverly Place wand (the one we wanted to buy her for Halloween but they were completely sold out.) and Odin got this really cool car from the movie Cars. You shake it back and forth and then set it down and it goes! Granted it doesn't go very far because he only shakes it a second or two, but he loves it! Though Mama and Daddy are about ready to take out the batteries! (its loud)

Sierra was with us this year. Usually she ends up with her ex grandmother because they have a big easter egg hunt with the town and the police department. This year I said no when they asked me. I wanted her here with her family. So she ran around helping her sisters and brother find the eggs in the backyard. She smiled. She had a good time. And seeing her participate in family stuff with a smile on her face made me really glad I had her stay here.

Today is Ivy's last appointment with the Neuropsychologist. Her evaluations for an autism spectrum disorder is almost complete. It took us years to get to this point. Years. Just this appointment alone took a year to get. But her behavior at school is starting to get worse. They have a behavior notebook for her now and her day is broken into small chunks of time to try to earn at least 15 stars a day. I think it might help her. But will they try to take her off her IEP next week? I don't know. But I do know that she needs a diagnosis so that I can fight for her better. We've been fighting since she was two years old, and we'll keep fighting.

My girls (and niece)

Sierra is a dork

Just me

PJ is 154 days old!

Avis has gone to be with her father

This is so sudden that I don't even know how to say it except to say it. Last night I got a phone call from Avis's phone, and it was her brother calling to let me know that Avis was in the hospital. She went in because she was still feeling sick from her UTI and found her in full kidney and liver failure. They gave her a day or two to live...
They asked me to contact anyone that was her friend and let them know. I posted on facebook and let Shannon know as well.
Tonya and I went to SMMC after the kids went to bed and Shannon was on her way out. Avis was sleeping the entire time. There was nothing they could do for her except keep her comfortable. We talked to her for awhile and her family even left the room so we could have some time in private. Persephone was straining and giggling. She really wanted me to put her down in Avis's bed. I held her over her and she laughed so much and so hard. We rubbed her hair and I kissed her head.... and we said our goodbyes.

Avis passed away this morning around 3am. Her service will be April 1st. I know I'm not the only one secretly waiting for her to pop up and yell April Fools.. This was just so unexpected.

I will miss her a lot. :( We were planning to do lunch this week.  .....

Its Mr Man!

PJ in the walker

PJ in the highchair

Sarah and PJ with glasses (turn your head lol)

Spring is almost here

We've set our clocks ahead now, and I've found that the kids adjust much easier in the springtime than they do when we roll the clocks back in the fall. They're still waking up at 6 AM but at least they're still falling asleep at 7 PM. We've been going outside the past few days. Temperature wise its been above average this year. It hit 69 the other day! In March! In Maine! I'm hoping that the rest of the season is the same.

Early Intervention was supposed to come to start the evaluation process with Odin the other day. His speech was the major concern, but even some days I'm not sure I'm concerned about it anymore. I go back and forth. I think that he's a bit behind but probably not enough to qualify for services.  The house is clean and we waited for the person to come. Chris was planning on taking the other kids out for awhile to make it easier, even though is leg hurts a lot these days. (and thats another blog post) The person from EI forgot about us, so we ended up doing it over the phone. I wish he would have given me that option to begin with!

So tonight I'm sitting here at 11:30 and dreading going upstairs. I'm tired, but I'm so anxious about tomorrow that I want to keep my mind off things. And by keeping my mind off things what I really mean is, google everything I possibly can about speech and language disorders, in particular Childhood Apraxia of Speech. I'm nervous that EI is going to be in my home. Not just one person, but a few different people. :( Ugh. Chris is going to take Piper and Persephone upstairs while they're here, and hopefully they'll be gone before Ivy is home from school.

If something is going on with Odins speech, I hope that EI really catches onto it and does something. After Ivy, I feel like they've failed us.

Smile and say cheese kids

Skelly clippie

PJ's funny face

Piper's Gary the Snail

Piper's Spongebob and Gary

Odin and Mama in the morning

  

(pre make up. LOL)

Odin is 25 months old and needs a haircut. 

PJ in a tutu

Sitting pretty in her tutu

My love

What's in your cup?

Pretty girl

Yo

Say what?

Just one of the girls

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Persephones Smile

This is the best smile I've ever caught on camera. You can even see both her dimples! I think this picture was taken when she was around 2 1/2 months old. Such a happy little baby she is. :) I can hardly believe that she's almost 4 months old. Where has the time gone..

Almost 4 months old... Ms Persephone Jade

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