Piper on her way to Preschool; big 5 year old now

In impromptu "Hey! Stop for a second!" while we were on our way to Mothergoose Preschool at 7:45 in the morning. She dressed herself and wore a pair of striped Babylegs with her outfit. I thought they looked so cute that I snapped a pic of it. Its hard to believe my baby girl is 5 years old already. Where have the years gone? Yesterday she cooked a bagel by herself. Pretty soon she'll be driving a car. It happens so fast!

Some quick facts: Two months ago at almost 5 years old, she was 47.6 pounds and 43 inches tall. She's built just like Sierra was/is :) Tomato and dairy we've figured out, cause her eczema to get worse. Its itchy, and right now its pretty bad. Luckily for her right now its on her bottom and her legs and not her face. (though Persephone has a patch on her face) Her favorite foods are Ramen noodles, chicken, and more Ramen noodles. That girl could survive on noodles alone! She's not big on desserts just like Odin though. (Ivy is another story entirely) Her favorite game is Pixie Hollow on the computer, and her favorite things to play with are Tinkerbell toys, Strawberry Shortcake, computer, and her American Girl doll.

Piper's teacher says she's doing wonderfully at school and that she's very independent. She doesn't whine or cry at school the way she does at home. So most likely she does it as a way of gaining attention. And trust me, in a house where biting 7 year olds get the most attention, 3 year olds that throw toys and don't talk much, and 16 month old babies with no words that just scream DO get more attention than a quiet well mannered 5 year old. I can see the allure to misbehave there. She's a lot like Sierra was. ;)

Her independence has been held back a bit due to Ivy. Inadvertently we don't let Piper do some things that she can probably do, because Ivy isn't ready to do them yet. I know the time is coming that she's going to pass her sister and its difficult for us to figure out how to let that happen.

Already she's allowed to pick up Persephone, but Ivy is not. Its purely a safety issue. Ivy trips and falls and really just has no awareness of her body in space. If allowed she would run and climb and jump while holding the baby. Obviously she can't do that. So we have to be right on her about it. She does get a time out if she repeatedly doesn't listen and keeps picking the baby up. As long as Piper is just holding her, or moving her from one place to another (if she's crying or in an unsafe spot) she can be trusted to do that. Sometimes she gets too silly and we tell her to keep her hands off her sister, or to put her down. In general though, she's very good with her.

She doesn't have the issue with impulse control that Ivy has. Thats the first real thing we've been dealing with that doesn't "feel" fair. I want Ivy to be able to pick up and carry her baby sister around, she's almost 8! She should love babies! I know I did at that age, and my heart just breaks that she can't do all that holding and mothering that I know I wanted to do. Then again, maybe she doesn't have those same feelings?

Actually, looking back I can see why I shouldn't have been trusted with kids. (yet I was) When my younger cousin Matthew was a baby, I once bit him so that he'd cry.. so that I could make him feel better again. His smile was so cute when he was happy, and the feeling that I had when I cheered him up and made him stop crying was so happy inside my heart! I remember feeling proud and excited that I could do something so special. So one day when he was happy just playing with me, and he didn't "need" me to cheer him up and "Shhhh" him and pat him.. I tried really hard to make him upset, so that I could make him feel better.

Doesn't that sound like something Ivy would do? Yep. Exactly like her. LOL The reasoning was sound to me. And I can remember not understanding why people were angry with me. It made sense to me. I was confused a lot. I stared at blinked at adults, or cried. Ivy and I are so much alike its scary sometimes.

When Will Winter Be Over?

We're in the middle of a three day snow storm and I've about had it with winter! I know, I've said it before.. but I really haven't been enjoying winter much anymore. The older I get the more I desire warmer weather. Not only does it bring the cold and snow, but lately its been bringing sickness.

A few weeks ago we all recovered from H1N1 (the swine flu) Some of us were not hit very hard. (me, the hardy healthy one! heh.) And others were. Persephone had to be hospitalized in what was probably the scariest night for me. Two spinal taps, a catheter, blood labs drawn and redrawn, every exam in the book, xrays, .... on a 6 week old baby is not fun. No, I can think of a million things I would rather have been doing for those 4 days. But eventually she got better. Eventually we all get better.

Now only a few weeks later, and Ivy has been sick for two days. She's had a fever of 104 today, and been in bed since Thursday. Poor girl. She was so excited to go to school on Monday and show everyone her new glasses, but I don't think she's going to make it. Hopefully she'll be feeling better tomorrow but I think the fever will hang on. Chief complaints? Head pain, neck pain, stomach pain, fever, throwing up. I've had a headache for a few days now, sore throat and neck pain. Of course, me being mama I don't even realize I'm not feeling well until one of my kids tells me they're sick. Then I seem to take inventory of myself and say, "Hey... come to think of it....my head hurts too.."  I'm known for missing the obvious.

Hey Spring! Can you hear me? I'm done with this winter stuff. I'd appreciate if you'd come a little early this year. Yanno, make things green.. warm stuff up a bit. You can even keep it pretty chilly at 50 degrees if you'd like. Us Mainers will still be outside with shorts on anyway.

I'm going to turn in for the night. 5am comes early around here.

Winter 2008

Ivy and Piper playing outside in the cold just days before record low temps in Maine. Brrrrr!
I've had enough of the snow now and I'm ready for spring. When I was younger I loved the snow. It really must be something about getting old that turns you against it..
suddenly Florida is starting to look nice.

Shoot me please.

The Marriage Penalty Woes

I have had time to post. I just haven't. I figure the honest response is better than the typical "my life has just been SO busy lately!" The past few weeks its been getting so cold here. I suddenly realize why old people move to Florida. Something does happen to your body as it gets older. It starts to rebel against the cold winds and the impending snow storms. Its a sign I'm definatly aging. Born and raised in Maine, I no longer look forward to winter like I used to.

So what have I been up to aside from moping about the weather? First and foremost, I did cut my hair. Money became tight this month so I chopped it off myself. Its crooked and uneven and honestly looks pretty bad. Goddess willing I'll be able to have the money next week to get to the hairdresser and get it cut how I want it. I'm still going super short! (why, when I'm freezing as it is.. I'll never know.) Technically I had the money to get it done this month, but I just couldn't justify spending the money on myself. Yes, I'd rather walk around with crooked hair all month than feel guilty because I used the precious money on myself.

And precious money it is becoming!
/rant on

Social Security sent me a wonderful letter on my birthday telling me I had an appointment to come in because I neglected to tell them I had gotten married... over two years ago. Umm... no. I went in two weeks after I got married and let them know. I changed my name and updated my social security number. The whole thing. I called them and they pretty much called me a liar. I explained that they sent me a letter telling me that my husbands benefits would be cut in half because of the marriage penalty, and we awaited the change but it never happened. Again the woman didn't believe me. Lo and behold, the amazing woman that I am.. I was actually able to find the piece of paper they sent me two years ago. And I found it while I was still on the phone with them! I read it to her, and she said, "Oh.. umm... bring it in to us please." Ya.. I thought so. Their mistake. Apparently they had forgotten to merge my husbands and my accounts together so they never actually cut his check. I haven't heard anything official yet, but I'm willing to bet money that they'll cut it come November.

After two years of living with the money we had, we'll be forced to give a few things up. Now realize, we don't have a whole lot. So this feels pretty darn unfair. Nothing has changed. We've lived together for almost five years. The only thing that changed was a piece of paper and suddenly we're expected to be able to live on almost $4oo.00 less a month than we currently are. There goes the tv. I'm damn lucky the car just got paid off. (the old crappy 97 Pontiac I have) and who knows what else will go since there isn't much else we have thats "luxury." No, in fact.. there are only two other things.. my internet connection (forget it jackasses.. I'm NOT giving it up) and my subscription to World of Warcraft. (Yes, I'm an MMO nerd. Deal with it.) Thats all I have. No magazines, no gym memberships, no dinners out every week, no cable tv. Hell, I've even got a crappy self haircut to save money. So yes, I'm a bit miffed about this "penalty." I don't think it makes any sense and I don't see why they penalize for a piece of paper when it changed nothing. No other program penalizes for marraige, in fact.. others give back for marriage. Thats the US government for ya.. Oh! You're poor? Well then, we'll have to penalize you for things that we don't rich people. Its only fair after all..

Meh..
/rant off

Halloween festivities have been happening this week. I was able to take the girls and the neighbor kids to the Halloween party at the community center. They had a great time, and Ivy even won a special bag of prizes because her costume was "so wonderfully cute" the woman said.

Other than hunkering down from the cold, and doing Halloween things.. not too much has been happening. Personally I'm in a bit of a lull with this weather. Not run down tired feeling, but a bit apathetic. I'm trying to keep connected with the kids and not space out my entire days. I make sure to squeeze in enough ooomph to paint or do play doh with them. Some nights I just hit refresh on my Gmail account and stare. Hows that for pathetic confessions from cyberspace?

Myspace has been a fun place to read. I'm not sure why I go there, except maybe a faint tiny hope of changing some of those parents minds about how they treat their kids. I'm pushy. I try hard not to be rude, but after sitting through post after post about how people just "lock the door and turn off the monitor so I don't hear him scream. Yay! Now I can sleep at night!"... and "When my daughter is bad, I spank her butt. Its not going to hurt her. She's 6 months old and knows how to make me mad."... Sometimes there are no words to say. No polite ones to find. All I can muster on those nights is, "I'm sorry for your children."

Yes, I'm a rude bitch. I'm a "breastfeeding Nazi" and a "tree hugging hippie." I will not apologize for how I raise my children or how many mistakes I see parents make. And yes, beating your kids and leaving a 3 month old baby to scream all night alone.. ARE mistakes. Sadly they are not being made because the mothers are ignorant. No, they are very informed and just choose to take the "easy" route. They choose to be neglectful and abusive. And boy are they mad at anyone who suggests they are! I haven't come to the conclusion of whether I should just drop the nice route and straight up say it how it is.. or keep on trying to be nice and polite even when I don't feel like it. History shows I'll probably keep taking the higher road, but oh.. it would feel sooo nice to be like them for once.